The Patience That Makes You Desperate

This week is all about patience. So many times we pray, “Lord, help me be patient—patient with Your timing, with others, with myself, with everything.” Right? But when you struggle your dealing with controlithing 🤪, that urge to be in control of everything means patience suddenly becomes one of the hardest fruits to walk in.

Last week we talked about how Leah took matters into her own hands because of this one thing. She wanted the outcome she wanted, instead of letting go and letting God. But once she did let go, she experienced gladness. Patience simply also requires surrender.

Lately, homeschooling my kids has been one of the areas where God has been doing the deepest work in me. Pruning that patience, the more I pray for patience, the harder it gets. But I think it is because I have been doing it all wrong.

Whew… talk about a patience-building boot camp 😅. Between breaking old mindsets, letting go of high expectations, and dealing with the way I think things should look (“It should be this way… it should go like that…” 🙄 argh, our brains!), God has been showing me just how tied my impatience is to those expectations. And in this season—recovering from surgery, two kids who need my full attention because of learning disabilities, and my oldest navigating AuDHD—patience has felt like a stretched muscle. Some days are more stretched than others.

But here’s one of the biggest lessons the Holy Spirit has been nudging me with these past few weeks:

If I don’t surrender this,

I can’t operate in the fruit of the Spirit.

If I can’t operate in it, I can’t model it.

And if I can’t model it, they won’t learn it.

I can teach patience all day long, but it’s not the same as living it. And they learn more from what I live than from what I say. The more I focus on needing patience, the worse it will get.

Some areas are easier than others to be patient in—that’s normal. However, it has to be in all areas of our lives, and the way we accomplish it is by first recognizing where we are struggling and then inviting God into it and allowing Him to shape us so that patience shows up in all areas of our lives, at all times. Not perfectly, but consistently. Saying, "Lord, where I'm weak, make me strong in you!"

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law."— Galatians 5:22–23 (NIV)

Patience doesn’t happen overnight. It doesn’t magically appear. It grows as we surrender. Patience is a fruit of the spirit. Meaning we can't produce it; it is God who equips us to walk it out.

Now, here’s the beautiful part

You have to be proactive in nurturing your relationship with Him. Seeking HIM! Not seeking to be patient. Seek Him, asking Him to search your heart and give you strength to endure. (AMR)

Patience may feel desperate and uncomfortable at times. It may stretch you, humble you, or even frustrate you. But that is exactly where growth happens. That’s where He meets you and shapes you.

Bonus:

And if you’re raising kids like me, remember this is a phrase that keeps popping into my mind: You are making disciples. 💗

Every day, in the ordinary moments, you have the opportunity to nurture their hearts, to be present, to model what Christlikeness looks like, and to lead them in the way they should go.

Be patient with them (believe in them, speak life), and be patient with yourself (by leaning in God). lol And trust that God is cultivating something beautiful in all of you.

As James 1:4 says, "Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

This verse truly captures the process of patience. Patience refines us, completes us, and shapes us into who God designs us to be.

Love, Aurey